‘Plant the trees, plant the trees
Dig and stamp and lug.’
‘Mum, what’s that?’ asks Mr 4, pointing at the picture in Roadworks, our bedtime story.
‘That’s a woman, bending down to plant trees by the side of the new road,’ I tell him.
‘Nah, it’s a HUGE snail with sharp teeth,’ says Mr 4, making claws out of his hands on either side of his head and baring his teeth at me.
‘Um, okay. I don’t know who you’ve been gardening with…’ I make a mental note to ask Nanny what on earth she’s been feeding the pests in her backyard.
Drip, drop, glu…’
‘I won’t be able to kill the monsters tonight,’ announces Mr 4 wistfully. ‘Or tomorrow night,’ he muses.
Mr 6 peers around me and looks at Mr 4, mildly alarmed.
‘There aren’t any monsters,’ I say quickly. ‘I sent them all away yesterday.’
‘YES THERE ARE!’ roars Mr 4. ‘I heard them when I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom.’ He whispers this last information to Mr 6, his eyes wide. I can see Mr 6’s bottom lip start to tremble slightly.
‘We’ll talk about the monster-killing later. You’re scaring your brother.’
Mr 4 leads a very active imaginary life. It’s very sweet and lovely and creative and all, but recently it’s started to become a little disturbing – less ‘Nee-naw, nee-naw, I’m a fireman!’; more ‘I see dead people.’
‘Hey Dad! I just saw aliens! In the sky!’
Sometimes his stories go off on meandering journeys of detailed whim and fancy:
‘I don’t live in Australia,’ he informed me recently.
‘Yes, you do. We live in the city of Melbourne, which is the state of Victoria, which is in the country of Australia,’ I explained.
‘Nah. I really live in Vansagamoria. I just come and visit here. When you’re all asleep I get into my Aurion and drive to my country and I fight all the monsters that try to come to Australia and I make sure you’re safe. Then I drive my Aurion back to Australia by the time you wake up in the morning.’
The next day he explained to Nanny that his little red trike was his ‘Aurion’ and that’s how he got home in the night.
I’m really looking forward to reading The Chronicles of Narnia with him one day; I think he’ll like them…
Do your kids tell you outrageous stories?
P.S. Personally I think Mr 4’s HUGE snail with sharp teeth is clearly a cousin to the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog with the BIG SHARP POINTY TEETH:
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